To my friends that I disagree with on social media...
Hey old friend,
I miss you. Remember
the days in grade school when we made clover “jewelry” and “crowns”, played
four-square, and begged our parents for sleep-overs? Or when we spent hours outside of class making
that video for our English class project?
Those were the days.
Or maybe you’re my acquaintance. My friend of a friend: maybe we were in a
wedding together and shared a great time on the dance floor. Maybe we shared one college class and really
hit it off, but haven’t talked much since then.
I see you on Facebook, now and then. Enjoying a fall coffee or beautiful
sunset.
Or… blowing off steam about the latest divisive issue.
Transgender, abortion, which lives matter, the range of
sexuality, gun control, common core, entitlement programs, presidential candidates…
…and let’s not leave out: GMO, organic, animal welfare,
factory farms, grass-fed, eat local, the environment.
Do you want to know what gets under my skin the most across
these topics? The common accompanying
post that goes something like this:
“I can already see I’m going to be unfriending lots of
people today.”
I HATE that.
Not because it makes me angry with you, but because it makes
me sad. The whole tenure of our
relationship, we never once discussed gun control. It has nothing to do with our “friendship.”
Plus, you know I advocate for our farm: the farm that uses GMOs
and is far from “certified organic.” You
know I see your post with your Whole Foods grocery bags. You wonder if you should “like” my status
anymore, or avoid me since you "know" I must disdain you, now.
Actually, it’s just the opposite. Because, you see, friend, I love you. I love you beyond polarizing issues. I loved you before polarizing issues.
More than that, I neeeeed to see that post so I can
understand you better. You’re the last
person I want to “unfriend.” Don’t you
realize the people you disagree with the most are the ones you need to hear
from the worst?
I hope you feel the same way. I sincerely want to hear your voice, and I
hope you want to hear mine. It’s
important to me that you know that I read those articles you post that I
disagree with, and I seriously consider and weigh the information. Rarely do you change my mind, but sometimes
there is a gray area to shape, or an inch is gained toward common ground. At the least, I see your perspective. That’s SO important.
That doesn’t mean I won’t respond. If I see that debunked GMO tumorous rat study
on your wall, I’m probably politely going to inform you that there are no
published, peer-reviewed studies that point to any health concerns with
GMOs. Hear it this way: “Hey
friend! I see what you’re saying
there. Did ya realize…”
Even if we continue to disagree, I still care about
you. I still want to see the pictures
from your baby brothers’ graduation, and your parents’ anniversary party. I still want to see the funny memes you post
because you have the greatest sense of humor.
As badly as I want you to see my side of the issue, I want you to know
you’re more to me than the issue. It
would hurt to not be able to see your beaming smile in your wedding photos, or
celebrate your career with you.
So please, let’s stop with the “I’m unfriending any who says
______.” We both need the
conversation. We need each other to
challenge the other’s ideas in a safe place.
We need to remind each other of the humanity of those on the flip side
of the issue. Since I knew your heart
before I knew your stance, I know you aren’t the evil on the other side. You’re the genuine-hearted, concerned person,
just trying to advocate for what troubles you.
Me, too. Sometimes we have
different information, sometimes we hold different values that just aren't going to change. However, from what I've seen, we’re both motivated because we
care.
So, no awkward feelings: debate GMOs with me today and
comment heart emojis galore on my sweet babies’ photos tomorrow. We’re that big. We can handle it. We need it.
Love,
Laura
I could not agree More Laura! We don't have to agree. We don't have to like everything that someone says or posts. We should be respectful and over love. That really should be enough.
ReplyDeleteThank you again for linking up a the Country Fair Blog Party!! Always great to see repeat bloggers like yourself.
Laurie - Co-Host
Thanks, Laurie! I've enjoyed all the new bloggers I'm discovering on the Country Fair Party!
ReplyDelete